Declining the Advances of an Online Match: The Dos and Don’ts

If you have been on the dating site for some time, there will be some matches who will make advances. While this is a good thing, sometimes the party making the advances does not meet our expectations in terms of factors like age, location, personality, or that feeling of ‘this is just not the person I’m looking for’. What to do? It could be as simple as ignoring the advances or blocking the interested party. While that is the easier route, it is not the best way to go about it.

What you should not do to an interested match:

•    Don’t explain what you don’t like about the match: It is really ok not to like a person, but it is really deflating if you have to explain why by listing what you think is wrong with that person. Try something like this instead: ‘thank you for the interest, but it does not seem like we really match. You seem like a nice person, and you will surely find someone….’

•    Don’t be rude: while it is perfectly normal not to fall for someone who thinks you are the one they have been looking for, it will gain you nothing to be rude. You just might make the person think that is what you really are like and it is a good thing you declined their advances

•    Don’t be abusive: this is absolutely unnecessary. It will gain you absolutely nothing besides making you feel cheap and vain after that.

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What you should do to an interested match:

•    Be understanding: this just another lonely heart like you looking for a match. Put yourself in his or her shoes and imagine if the situation was the other way round. How would you like to be declined? Do what is right.

•    Be respectful: it does not hurt to be respectful to anybody. It makes you a better man or woman whether online or offline. Trying to sound too good for him or her does nobody any good. It might have just exposed how disrespectful you really are in real life, and how you don’t match in the ‘respect’ department, and that is not what you are.

•    A little gentleness and encouragement go a long way: there is no easy way of declining the advances of someone who really fancies you.  This being the case, it does not mean that you shouldn’t try to be gentle. While a man might take it on the chin and move on, a woman might take the hit badly. If you are a man, be the gentleman that you know you are and decline gently and throw in a good word or two about what you think is good about her while encouraging her to continue hunting.
It will happen at one time or other, but your match need not feel inadequate because of how you declined his or her advances; do the right thing.

Do Online Personality Tests Work? suggests that new members take personality tests. Having in the business of linking people to their ideal love matches and doing a good job at it for a long time, it can only be assumed that they know what they are doing. Personality tests vary in type and intensiveness. Some will feature only a few questions while others will be several pages long and cover every possible aspect of a user’s life. Some people look at online personality tests with skepticism assuming that it is just another ploy to legitimize online dating.

So the question remains; do they work? The answer to this question is both yes and no. their effectiveness will depend on how one answers the questions. advocates for personality tests that are comprehensive and that the user should answer truthfully as opposed to answering in a way that is meant to make them feel better about themselves.

Some sites claim to offer personality tests that are guaranteed to help their users to find their perfect love matches. This is a bit of a stretch on their part. For a personality test to yield optimum results, it must be comprehensive enough to cover all the aspects that could likely affect one as they relate to others. The main reason why there cannot be a guarantee is plainly because there is no way to really tell if everyone was totally honest in their individual tests. The way a personality works is that one answers several questions that may seem to have nothing to do with one’s personality but the answers are meant to reveal a little information that when combined and compiled gives a clear picture of one’s inner most desires, hopes aspirations and goals. These couples with a love match search on a website such as will match people with similar aspirations and personalities. Several people testify to the effectiveness of these tests and, therefore, there must be something to them. encourages all who take personality tests to be absolutely honest. This is because the integrity and effectiveness of these personality tests is pegged directly to the honesty of the user. Giving inaccurate answers will give a personality result that is equally inaccurate and that will consequently to an inaccurate match which will not be fair to either party. This is why does not depend solely on the result of personality test and encouraging one on one interaction for better matching. It is therefore not logical for any dating website to claim that they can rely only on personality test results as a base for matching their users. Other factors will always play a part in the decision. The bottom line is that they do have an effect on the compatibility of singles looking for matches.